Here is a list of some of the things that can keep us mentally weak and stop us from building resilience.

Being Stuck in the Past

You will not be able to recover from a setback when you keep thinking about mistakes in the past.

In fact, you may be hurt, which is a normal way to feel under the circumstances.

You have probably devoted a lot of time, energy, and even money to a business or relationship.

When they fail it feels like it was all unimportant. Yes, it is painful. Still, you need to be able to move on.

Moving on is the only right choice you can make out of the many different options you might have available to you.

Other choices will only make you stay attached to something that is gone forever. Your ex may be gone or they might come back.

However, that should not be an objective for you right now. You will only stay angry which will stir up negative emotions when you keep trying to reconcile with your ex.

This is especially a problem if they aren’t interested in being with you. You can’t force people to stay.

If they are not interested in you anymore, you are going to have to move on with your life.

For example, if JK Rowling had wallowed in misery over her divorce it is possible that the Harry Potter books would never have been written.

She is an example of someone who had a major challenge in her life and was able to find a way of building resilience and as a result, became a successful author.

Don’t be Pessimistic About the Future

If you are one of those people who look at the future and only see doom and gloom you will not be resilient to challenges.

In fact, you will most likely want to crawl into your shell and contemplate the past because you don’t see any hope for the future.

There is no rule that says the remainder of your life cannot be better than all you have achieved so far. It is just not time to tell your life story.

People who are early bloomers can struggle when they encounter major setbacks.

That is because they are afraid that they won’t be able to achieve success again.

There are people who feel they were too quick to fulfill their potentials and as a result have nothing left to give. This is just not true.

As long as you keep looking for ways to better yourself, you will always be able to surpass your achievements.

Do You Have Weak Self-Efficacy?

People who lack resilience do not believe in their capability to succeed after a setback.

Often it is a long road back to improvement, especially when we face tough times because of something that we did wrong.

However, we can rewrite history but taking new steps towards our goals.

When we don’t give up on ourselves, we can move forward to something better.

Remember Colonel Sander’s story? It is never too late to start over and it is never too late to make changes that can lead you to success.

You might not get people to give you a second chance, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on yourself.

Perhaps you get written off by family and friends. What is important is that you don’t give up on yourself.

If you keep doing what you need to do to be successful, your critics and doubters might see you in a different light.

That might not happen. But nevertheless, as long as you believe in yourself and your abilities, you have a much better chance of meeting your goals.

Lacking the Right Relationships

It is true that it is much easier to bounce back from difficulty when you have the right people supporting you.

Admittedly, having determination is a vital ingredient that can help a person stand their ground even when faced with strong opposition.

However, you also need your loved ones with you.

Just remember that it is easier to believe you can get through challenging times when you have people around you who offer encouragement and support.

We can’t deny that support from friends and families isn’t important. It can be crushing to see that you have no one by your side with you are facing a challenge.

You may feel rejected and lonely which is going to make it very difficult for you to be able to find a way of building resilience.

The people in our lives give us the strength we need to overcome difficult situations.

When the people we care about end up turning their backs on us we are going to struggle. However, having sincere relationships can see us through.

Having a Lack of Focus

Keeping focused during hard times is easier said than done. Nevertheless, you will need it to find your way out of an emotional mess if you want to recover.

One thing you might consider doing for yourself and take some time and find a distraction-free place to create a new plan of action.

One of the best ways of maintaining your focus is to set new goals.

Goals give us a sense of purpose as well as direction.

It is important to understand that setting a new goal isn’t just about writing out the things you want to achieve.

Rather, it is important to understand there are skills you may need to learn that can make your process successful.

Your goals will need to be specific and measurable. As well, they should be relevant to you, they need to be achievable, and within a certain timeframe.

Once your goals include these qualities, you will be on the right path.

Let Go of Comparison

When you try to compare yourself to other people who you feel are better than you, you set yourself up to fail.

When you compare yourself with people that you perceive are below your level, you also set yourself up to fail.

Neither form of these comparisons is healthy.

In fact, any type of comparison to other people hinders you from being able of building resilience.

The Superpower of Resilience Video:

Nobody wants to be seen as mentally weak, in fact, we all want to be resilient and overcome any challenge. However, this doesn’t always happen.

We may find that there are barriers to building resilience that can stop our success.

When we are committed to finding how to overcome those barriers, we are more apt to be able to move forward after a setback.

As a result, we have a much better chance of finding success.

The post Frequent Barriers To Building Resilience appeared first on Create the Best Life.

Over the last number of posts, we have discussed the benefits and disadvantages of standing up during tough times.

Today we are going to devel into why you want to build a resilient spirit.

Here are a number of tips to help get you started.

Every Challenge Can Be An Opportunity

The big difference between people who stand firm when facing challenges and those who run away from a challenge is their perception.

The person shrinking away due to the situation believes there is no way out. They feel the situation is never going to get better.

These people are fixated on what they have lost. They find it difficult to imagine that they can start over again after the work they initially put into the situation.

However, people who are resilient can look on the bright side. They see the experience not as a failure, but as a learning curve and they are prepared to give it another try.

They may not be happy about the situation. Nevertheless, they know that they will be better off by continuing.

They also know that they will not gain a thing by crying and complaining. In fact, they probably know that complaining and sulking are only going to make things worse.

They in fact choose to see the disagreeable experience as an opportunity to be better prepared for future occurrences.

Failure does not mean you aren’t good enough. Rather, it shows that you might not have been prepared well enough or that the situation was just out of your control.

The good news is that if you want to build a resilient spirit, you are going to have to see setbacks as opportunities. These are opportunities where you can grow and learn.

It is important that you see adversity as a trainer that gives you the opportunity to become mentally stronger and better prepared for any future challenges.

It is Important to Learn From the Past

Anyone who refuses to learn from the past is not very smart. In fact, people are just wasting valuable experiences that are supposed to make them do better.

So many people don’t want to learn from their mistakes. They often overlook the fact that mistakes are lessons to be learned and just keep making them over and over again.

They can get stubborn and think things will be different. This is kind of like the definition of insanity: doing something over and over again, expecting different results!

However, when you make a mistake or things don’t go as planned, it is important to learn what you could have done differently.

The fact that a process didn’t work should not mean you need to start from scratch. You might need to only tweak your approach as a way of getting the right outcome.

It is important for our success to continue to grow and learn. A significant part of our learning process is our past.

Our past contains both success and failure and has shown us a better way of doing things.

The best way to build a resilient spirit is by facing challenging times.

Reducing Your Expectations

People often get disappointed with their life because they have elevated expectations. There is nothing wrong with having aspirations that you hope will be satisfied.

You may expect to have a wonderful marital relationship. You may also want to have your dream job.

We all have desires and they are important that we pursue them as much as possible. However, it is not a good idea to see these goals as do or die.

If however your relationship or marriage doesn’t work out as planned, you can learn what didn’t work and make different choices.

For sure this situation can be emotionally crushing. After all, people get married because they plan to spend the rest of their lives with each other.

So, when things go wrong, it can be psychologically overwhelming. However, you can move on.

It is important to believe in the best aspects of your life. However, it is not realistic to assume that nothing can go wrong.

We of course don’t want anything bad to happen to us. However, it is important to realize that things and relationships might not work out as planned.

When you let go of expectation, you might just find it easier to recover should things not work out for you.

Being Optimistic

Notwithstanding the changeable and unpredictable nature of life, we cannot live without hope.

It is important to have some optimism as we go through life. Optimism is a positive expectation concerning certain situations.

Although it is easy to be positive during those days when everything is pleasant, you should keep an open mind regarding upsets.

Just don’t start making predictions of doom in any aspect of your life. This will only end up causing a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This kind of attitude is way too negative, and it isn’t a good idea to engage in such limiting beliefs.

Rember that the best time to be optimistic is after a major difficulty.

You will need to be convinced that you can still be happy and live a fulfilled life despite some unfortunate occurrences.

Taking Life One Step At A Time

You cannot afford to live your life based on the speed of others in the world. If you do you will just end up being overwhelmed with stress and hardship.

It is important to take things slowly. If you are always in a hurry to succeed, you are going to struggle to overcome upsets.

You may feel like you are wasting valuable time, but that will only lead to more frustration.

It is important that you keep moving. As long as you are making progress, even if it doesn’t look that way, you will be more satisfied with life.

If however, you find ways to hasten your progress, you will want to take advantage of them.

Just try to stay positive and avoid desperation. Otherwise, you will just end up bruised and upset.

Try to keep your competitiveness in check. You will want to avoid comparing yourself unnecessarily to others.

It is best to stay focused on yourself and the progress you are making in your life. If you are not making progress the way you want to, then you may need to re-evaluate.

It is important to not measure your success by what others have accomplished.

One thing to keep in mind is to take things slowly, especially after a failure. Just pick yourself up and keep on trying.

It is Important to Be Flexible

There may be times when you need to be unyielding. There really isn’t any formula for success in life.

Everyone has to work it out for themselves. People may use different avenues to get to success, and those may not work for you.

Try to have a strategy and belief in your own work and success will follow.

The Power of Resilience Video:

Just remember that it is often better to do something your way and fail rather than follow someone else’s advice and fail.

That just leads to anger and frustration. Just make sure whatever advice you are going to follow works for you and your success.

Nonetheless, it is a good idea to be open to some types of advice. Just make sure you recognize it as good counsel before you follow it.

Having a mentor or coach that is able to give you support and good advice can help make it easier for you to recover from a setback and still be able to move forward.

This is important if you are going to want to build a resilient spirit to overcome adversity.

The post Build A Resilient Spirit to Overcome Adversity appeared first on Create the Best Life.

They experienced rough times that could have very much derailed their success.

Today we will take a look at several famous people who didn’t let adversity from stopping them to become successful in their careers.

They all failed many times but refused to give up and let those failures define them.

Some Famous People Who Overcame Adversity

Walt Disney: The man who gave us Tom and Jerry cartoons and other classic animations. His work is known all around the world for his ability to create thrilling and interesting cartoons.

Did you know the story behind his success? Do you know that he was once fired from his job at the Kansas City Star? Why?

His editor said he lacked any creativity or ideas that were needed to succeed!

Of course, this sounds ridiculous now. Still, this is the truth. If you think that this story is surprising, you need to hear more about this interesting man.

Since he was undeterred by being fired, he created his first animation company in 1921 in Kansas City.

He started making cartoons that he would ship to a distribution company in New York City. However, he wouldn’t get paid for six months.

You would think that no company could survive on such an absurd arrangement.

He eventually had to close the company because he couldn’t afford the rent for the space. As well he could barely pay his other bills or eat.

Are wondering how a man who faced such challenges could be nominated for fifty-nine Academy Awards?

He knew a secret. He knew that hard times don’t last forever and he refused to give in even if the odds looked like they were stacked against him.

Oprah Winfrey: Today Oprah is a self-made billionaire. Her story has become an inspiration to countless people around the world.

She is in fact a great example of people who overcame adversity and it made her stronger.

[easyazon_image align="left" height="500" identifier="B09328465B" locale="US" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41FAdW6bJtS._SL500_.jpg" tag="createthebestlife-20" width="313" type="image" link_id="231"]She had numerous reasons to give up and think that she wasn’t meant for success. But, she didn’t give up and kept advancing forward.

Oprah was born into poverty as her mother had her when she was still a teenager.

As well, Oprah gave birth to a child at fourteen but the child died not long after it was born.

This all sounds pretty depressing, and one would think that her life would never get much better.

However, Oprah had other plans. She decided to go to school and learn to be a journalist.

Although things didn’t get better right away, she kept persevering. She has talked about how in her first job a producer told her she was cut out for TV and should quit.

Despite hearing that, she didn’t let that stop her. She kept working and the results are that she has inspired so many people because of her sheer determination and courage to succeed.

Bill Gates: He is one of the richest and well-known men in the world. However, the co-founder of Microsoft wasn’t always a success.

In fact, he struggled to find his area of expertise in the early years of his life before he eventually became successful.

Gates started the company Traf-O-Data, which was designed to create reports for roadway engineers from raw traffic data.

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned or anticipated.

The company was closed when the machine that was designed to process the data crashed when it was presented to a Seattle County traffic representative.

Nevertheless, Gates wasn’t discouraged by this unhappy situation. He chose to start from scratch by learning the lessons from this experience.

The lessons from his first failed attempt to develop a company gave him the blueprint for one of the most influential companies in the world. He is just one of the many people who overcame adversity.

Colonel Sanders: This is the story of someone who showed us that it is never too late to start a worldwide brand.

It may be better to start early, but, Colonel Sanders proved that you can start a thriving business even in old age.

Colonel Sanders started developing his fast-food empire when he was already sixty-two years old! Yes, that is correct!

You would think that he was at that stage in life where he would rather just enjoy his retirement.  However, he decided that was not the route for him.

He started by presenting his chicken recipe to various restaurants. Evidently, he was rejected by more than a thousand people.

The good news is that the colonel was resilient and wasn’t about to give up.

His determination was to pay off when he found his success with a restaurant in Corbin, Utah. The restaurant became the very first Kentucky Fried Chicken.

The company was able to triple its sales within a year thanks to the colonel’s chicken recipe.

Whenever you feel like throwing in the towel, remember the doggedness of this man and hang in there.

JK Rowling: Everyone in the world has either read the books or watched Harry Potter movies. The writer behind that story is JK Rowling.

She has become a tremendous success. But, things were very different for her before her breakthrough. As a result, you will probably appreciate her success even more.

JK Rowling felt that she had written some pretty interesting stories and that publishers would be scrambling to publish her books.

However, things didn’t go the way she expected. In the end, she would submit her manuscript to twelve major publishers all of who rejected it much to her dismay and shock.

She kept writing her stories despite facing so many challenges that would have made others quit writing for something they felt would be more lucrative.

She was divorced and had a young daughter to support while trying to write the first parts of the book.

So, you would think that during those hard times when her work was rejected, she could have considered that writing wasn’t for her.

But, she decided to keep on trying. She submitted the manuscript a year later, and the publisher Bloomsbury accepted it.

The company gave her a small one thousand and five hundred Euros to publish the first book.

However, it would turn out to be one of the best decisions the publishing firm ever made.

Stephen King: You may not be a fan of horror stores but the name Stephen King is definitely well known in this genre.

He is an excellent example of the success that can be achieved when we choose to try again after several rejections.

King could have given up on one of his most renowned works ever, Carie, if he had listened to all the critics who told him that his story was outlandish.

He actually ended up making a difference at a time when horror wasn’t that popular.

At that time it wasn’t easy to publish books. King ended up submitting the manuscript of Carie to thirty publishers but was turned down by all of them.

Let’s face it, many people would have given up already. It seems that one of the publishers wanted King to forget about publishing the book stating that “negative utopias” wouldn’t sell.

Here is a very neat fact. King had actually decided that he had had enough and threw the manuscript into the garbage.

However, when his wife retrieved it he decided to give it one more try since she had encouraged him that it would be worth talking to another publisher.

It may sound pretty ridiculous. You might ask why anyone would make the thirty-first attempt thinking anything would be different from the first thirty tries.

Being the smart man he is, King listened to his wife, and as they say, the rest is history.

10 Celebrities Who Have Overcome Adversity Video:

These are just a few of the stories of people who are hugely successful today, but they had a lot of adversity before they became successful.

Here is a story worth mentioning. If you heard this basketball career record: missed more than 9,000 shots, lost almost 300 games, was entrusted with the game-winning shot twenty-six times, and missed, you might think that this guy is a loser.

In fact, he has failed repeatedly. However, this guy is Michael Jordan.

He has said of this record “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

So, if these people who overcame adversity can do it, so can you!

The post Famous People Who Overcame Adversity appeared first on Create the Best Life.

This article is the second in a series on How to Cope in the Face of Adversity.

Challenging Times Won’t Last Forever

You have probably heard people make this statement many times such that it is beginning to sound like a cliché.

You just have to accept the reality that it is a fact you need to keep recognizing, again and again, to get through the hurdles and challenges of life.

The reason two people face the same challenge but have different responses is their state of mind.

One of the facts about adversity is that there are people everywhere who have faced difficult circumstances and still succeeded when you might have failed.

So, you will be doing yourself a favor by choosing not to make excuses but instead find solutions to the problems you encounter.

The first thing you need to realize about challenging times is that they are short-lived.

The intensity and circumstances surrounding some situations might make you feel that you are helpless.

Nonetheless, it’s nothing but a delusion. If you choose to be calm, you will find a way out of the problem.

Tough times are only for a while.

You Have Been in Trouble Before

When you realize that you have had challenging periods in your life in the past and you pulled through, should make you know that challenges never last.

They come and try to throw you off balance. However, if you can stand your ground, you will only get stronger.

You Had Felt All Hope Was Lost In The Past

Another one of the facts about adversity is that you shouldn’t lose hope in the current situation. In fact, you had been in seemingly hopeless situations before, and you survived.

If you could survive back then, why can’t you repeat the feat again? The current situation is another challenging circumstance trying to break you.

Just like previous times, there is a way out this time as well. Nothing lasts forever, including your troubles.

You need to remember that statement whenever you are experiencing tough times that might ruin all the progress you have made recently.

Adversity Is For All

People often think that they struggle to get over an issue because they feel that life is unfair to only them.

It is easy to compare yourself with other people, thanks in part to social media. However, what you might be forgetting is the fact that people often post only their best moments online.

They hardly post pictures or say anything about the days they are broken because of an unpleasant situation.

So, you feel inadequate and insignificant because you feel life has dealt you unfairly while favoring others.

However, it is not true that some people are handpicked for suffering, while others are selected for positive experiences.

Life is like a coin: it has two sides. One side of it is full of pleasant moments, while the other side is full of disappointments and frustrations.

Therefore, don’t get too excited when you are experiencing the side of the coin that is full of enjoyable situations and think that is what you would always get from life.

Work Through the Adversity

You should keep good memories cherished because you will need them during the days when things turn wrong for you.

One of the many facts about adversity is that when life has flipped to the other side of the coin, don’t think that is the end of your good experiences.

If you keep calm and forge ahead, you will soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The beautiful thing about life is that it is fair to all. How? We all experience its two sides.

Besides, no one is allowed to choose the part of life they want. Not even the richest person can choose what they want in life.

Indeed, their money can take them to a great extent. Nonetheless, there are limitations. If money can save everyone, rich people would never die of any sickness.

However, famous and wealthy people lose their lives while receiving treatment. Besides, they also lose their loved ones.

They experience divorce and heartbreaks, just like any other person. For example, Andy Murray, a popular Tennis star, lost his girlfriend because of his habit of playing too many tennis matches.

So, don’t think you lost your relationship because you are broke. Whoever loves you will stick by you regardless of your financial capability.

Regardless of your fame, money, and social status, you will have both sunny and rainy days.

Enjoy your beautiful moments and share them with the people that matter to you.

Nonetheless, on those days when it’s not a bed of roses, remember that one of the facts about adversity is that it happens to all.

There Is No Glory Without Adversity

It is crucial to remember that you cannot become a champion without tough times. Conquerors are what they are because they are battle-hardened.

They have been hit at different times, but they refused to give up. The best military units in the world were forged in the furnace of adversity.

They have been physically and mentally trained to be alert and respond to problematic situations.

Champions don’t see challenges and break down in tears. Instead, they eat trouble for breakfast!

When you see how calm some people are when facing turbulent times, you might be tempted to wonder if they are human beings.

However, nobody was born that way. We become weak or strong due to our previous responses to challenging situations.

Facing Difficult Situations

Another one of the many facts about adversity is that when you run away from a challenge you are going to be running away for the remainder of your life.

However, when you confront the problem and solve it, you will not be anxious when you are in similar situations in the future.

If you keep running away from challenges, you will remain mediocre for the rest of your life.

You will have to endure watching others enjoy the limelight because of their grit and determination.

You’ll always be in the crowd celebrating others, but you will never be celebrated.

The world doesn’t reward or honor people who fall apart when they are faced with a difficult situation.

Rather, the world honors people who have refused to give up even when the odds were stacked against them.

The stories of such people are the inspiring biographies and autobiographies we read today.

Their stories are made into blockbuster movies so that others facing similar situations can learn from them.

How To Overcome Adversity Video:

The ball is in your court now. Will you give up or choose to stand up to your adversity and become a champion?

Choose the latter and not the former because that is the only way you can become successful.

The post Important Facts About Adversity appeared first on Create the Best Life.